Countless books have been written, endless workshops and discussions have been done and are currently going on because of body language. Most of you must have probably heard some of your friends say it’s in the way he moves that I found out he likes me!
It is therefore an important advantage to know how to interpret body language – or as some people prefer to call it, non verbal communication – it is very useful in business and relationships.
When persons talk, there are always two levels of communication that occur concurrently: what is actually said or verbalized (content) and EVERYTHING ELSE that occurs while the other person was saying what you heard (process).
Very often person-to-person interactions are wrought with mixed and sometimes contradictory signals – people say one thing when they actually mean something else and communicates the contradictory statement non-verbally. These nuances of speech may be due to culture, upbringing, environment, stress, or countless of other reasons.
This is the main reason why so many men and women are confused as to what or how their date (or partner) really thinks or feel. Understanding body language may seem difficult however this is not so if you learn to interpret and speak the non-verbal communication process yourself.
Study the following scenarios and you will realize it is pretty easy and straightforward.
- Avoiding Eye Contact and Restiveness
Pay attention to how the other person looks at you when you talk or say something.
If he makes frequent eye contact, it is a non-verbal statement that he is comfortable and interested in you. However, if he avoids eye contact, discomfort, and lack of interest in you are what he is saying.
Fidgeting, checking the time often, far-away looks – these behavior patterns indicates lack of interest, and preoccupation with someone or somewhere else – but definitely not you!
- Looks at Others But Hardly Ever Looks at You
Have you ever been out with someone who watches the crowd, and glances furtively (but frequently)? This signals lack of interest, possible discomfort and a desire to avoid interaction. It can also be a sign that the person is not trustworthy.
- Sounds of Silence
Silence is deafening. It conveys lack of interest or fear of rejection. Be extra careful because the other person’s silence may be because of an external variable unrelated to the two of you. Only you can interpret this. Take care not to misinterpret silence.
- Stiffening or Closed-In Body Posture
When people are uncomfortable, they fold their arms tightly across their chest, sit up straight, cross their legs tightly, and turn their body at an angle away from the person they are with.
We do exactly the opposite when the interaction feels good. We lean forward, arms relaxed, and face the other person directly right?
A closed-in posture is easy to interpret. It only means one thing – the other person is uncomfortable, totally closed to any interaction with you and would rather be someplace else.
- Physical Contact
Touch is the easiest non-verbal gesture to interpret and understand. If the person you are with is hesitant to take your hand or put his arm around you, he may be uncomfortable or unsure of what your reaction will be. He may also be shy. However, if you have been going out for sometime and your partner suddenly begins to exhibit changes in their level of eye contact, body posture, attention, becomes restless or less communicative, pay closer attention. It is a sign that his feelings may have shifted, more so if it becomes a regular occurrence. Make sure that what he says match what he does not say.
Other non-verbal behavior patterns you should be aware of and pay close attention to in your partner are: inability to call often or does not call at all, subtle changes in voice tones, suddenly becomes busy and unable to spend time with you.
If your partner sends any of the above non-verbal behavior patterns, pay close attention to what they do as you listen to what they say. You will be able to get all the information you need by paying close attention to what they do, not what they say!
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